Hey all! I’m posting early today! The cool thing is that I ideated the article topic yesterday and so I don’t have to come up with it midday on the spot again haha. And I started off the day with a brilliant Wordle-in-2, piano to aorta, and now it’s article time yay!
Now, first off, I’ll note that this article will be done in kinda an experimental format. It’ll sort of be in a chronological order k.
Hajimemasu! Let’s begin.
So yesterday afternoon, I wasn’t feeling very inspired at all. I was feeling kinda lame. But well, I had a regular cycling session to attend. And I told myself that while I had zero idea whether I might be able to perform any good today, well, I’d just go and give it a shot, do my best. And so I took the bus and the train and there I was.
Man!! I was crazy in my masculine energy cycling yesterday. Well, mostly because I’d usually just cruise, but the new coach dude was asking me to have a fast speed too, and so I was going on like intervals fast slow slow slow fast slow slow slow. And I really cycled my heart out, gave it my all. Was a stadium track, and I was one of the faster ones for sure. Anyway…
Yeah, I broke my old record. Hit 23.85 km when I’d been feeling lame earlier in the day. Yay.
Then I went for dinner. Now I treated myself because I kinda had an unexpected little craving for scrambled egg with chicken cutlet… Well actually, I managed to derive a new rule for myself! Basically, the rule: Supposing not having it will not make you feel any less, why, just go without it yo!!! By the way this rule is totally for food only okay! Why? Well!
At the place I usually work at, the mixed vegetable rice stall has a small chili container next to the cutlery. And at first I always took some of that because I love spicy! But eventually I realised… actually it’s harming my body yo by being unhealthy. And tbh I’d be totally fine without it too! It’s actually better for me not to eat it because health yay plus craving no care.
Yup. So I enjoyed the food and got a new rule to follow when eating food. Yay. Btw if it’s a craving I believe most of the time it should be abided by. These don’t come everyday after all and it’s important to reward yourself. Really I feel so glad to be alive whenever I’m eating the nice food. And I previously decided that they would be intermixed with average healthy enough normal very low-key food days. Yep.
Ok moving on…
I was trying to think of an article topic. And to be honest I made a mountain outta a molehill! 🙁 Tbh this was kinda what I came up with.
After cycling that new record for self, I didn’t even feel a strong surge of positive emotions! Nooooooo! Does that mean something within me is broken or?!! Then I started thinking about reverse engineering. Like I know when you’re not happy, you can literally smile to make yourself feel happy. A cause-effect reversal but still linked thing! No, is this a self-concept problem? Anyway! Basically chaos enveloped my conscious mind.
Additionally, this was compounded by the fact that while the coach seemed to have intentions to send me to cycling competitions in the future leaving the mere participants community crowd, I’m like totally dou demo ii or whatever about it tbh. Like if it happens, it happens! I’ll just do my best carefreely go with the flow. Yeah, desirelessness stumped me for a sec… 🙁
…Ah whatever!
Afterwards, I would realise that hey! I was just overthinking imaginary problems in myself that didn’t exist again! That sucks, totally! In fact I literally have been plunged down into the most abysmal of abysses by doing so before, and I shudder even just at the thought of it. 🙁 No, I renounce such nauseating things! Zzz…
So yeah. I threw the problem out of my mind for now and went home. Incidentally, there was another nice milestone that I reached just then which, actually, did make me feel quite happy! Basically it’s that step milestone on the Healthy 365 app. I’ve reached what, the milestone 5/10 of the step goals there? Heheh! Healthy efforts, good for me yay!!
So I got home and technically, I had super gone all out in the cycling earlier. It would totally make sense for me to just rest for the day. But Duolingo… I still hadn’t done it that day yet. Aw. And I was thinking… maybe I should rest half an hour and do it?
But wow. It’s kinda like… I really wanted to do it and so I did it right away. And ye know, it was crazy yo. I only did 2 units because I was tired but it was kinda insane. First of all, I climbed back to first place in the diamond league. If all goes well today, it might be my 5th!! diamond league win hah.
Second, and this literally astounds me… I got a 96 streak combo of correct answers wow. It was so insane and I was literally so fixated and immersed in trying to maintain this the closer I got to the number. Each unit took about 3min+ btw. But yeah, anyway, I was crazy elated about this thing.
And then I went to sort out my thoughts. Eventually, where I arrived was…
I recalled the hope-regret spectrum thing I conceived of back when I was still in high school or something. Around there I think. Basically, the most important thing is that we give fuel to our hopes and avoid regrets. Really!! Where did my desires lie? Where would I feel sad, unhappy if these desires weren’t met, didn’t happen? …All these were what I had to fulfil tbh, innit?
Well, some things immediately came to mind. I’ll be so happy if I get to act in another play in the theatre thing at the end of this year. I don’t actually have to star in it again but it’ll be nice for sure if I get a solid role with lines! And after my theatre class showcase thing in a few weeks, the very next day I plan to go back to the place where I learn singing and start to work on the craft again, aim to raise my master of it! Woah! It certainly!! energises, inspires me to think of those! Not having them would be sad.
Here’s where I wanna quickly add in something. According to numerology, my heart’s desire number is 3. That means my soul deeply yearns!!! for creative self-expression. And to truly satisfy my soul I should channel my imagination into constructive outlets like writing, public speaking, acting or design… Yeah HD3 likes communication and social bonds too.
So aha! No wonder! This precisely matches why my truest desires are more towards these areas instead. Anyway, so going by the hope-regret spectrum thing, why, what I have to do is simple. Now let me link us back to the title of this article: on the knowns to follow in moving forward – don’t overthink fr. Basically, rather than entering yo self-inflicted chaos!
Don’t. Just relax. Breathe. Go to ease. Your hopes are the greatest sign of what you should pursue. For if you don’t pursue them, you’ll only feel a saddening emptiness afterwards as creates a negative state of being in ya. Instead, if it doesn’t actually matter so much to you either way!! Well, you could not do them now and years down the road, you surely won’t!! regret it anyway so it’s all good.
So cling to the hoshii! Cling to what you want! It’s a definitive sign of what you should pursue even if it doesn’t exactly make much rational sense… perhaps all the puzzle pieces will click together snugly in the future.
Like for instance, if you’re really interested in X but have to study Y in school, well don’t be discouraged. Simply pursue X on the side too! I totally understand sometimes practicality is prioritised. Still. Passion!! Never discount that. It makes you come alive and is yo magnetism.
As for what you don’t super have an ambition for right now at least… really sometimes time is the crucial element. You can just set it aside for now and be okay with that! So what do I mean? Well basically…
…I took a coaching course before. But I totally haven’t been doing any coaching. But have I totally given up on coaching? No tbh. I’ve just set it aside for it. Now is not the season for it. But I am still believing that it may well ripen and the time for it come in the future.
I write posts and articles nowadays. In fact I think I might wanna make an online course or something eventually. But now? No. I simply don’t feel it is the time for that. So I don’t force it. Have I given up on it? No. I simply don’t feel now is the time for it. Let it come when it will.
So, cycling too. I don’t actually really have ambitions for competitions and stuff in the future. But I do have the self-ambition to push and become an even stronger version of myself. And that involves continuing to attend the trainings. And so I’ll just go with the flow and see where it leads me.
Of course, I am truly very grateful to the universe that I am where I am now in cycling! At the start of the year, I was still far behind my current prowess. And I like growth, so I’m in for it.
And of course, I do want to emphasise this right here. Along the way I naturally must follow my inner voice. Sometimes it’s timing and seeds flowering. But sometimes if my inner voice says no to this… then no.
Your higher mind is leading you… just abide and it should! get you places…
Finally, I want to recount a bit of stuff that happened before bed yesterday.
Oh and yeah I also wanna say that right after I finished Duolingo yesterday I checked my email and found that I had received an email from the music school saying that they do have the slot for the day after my showcase. So they asked me for confirmation that I can start on the day! And oh man! Really I was over the moon yo. 🙂 A chef’s kiss to the day, one of many.
Then before bed, I didn’t really feel like consuming fiction. Instead honestly I felt like consuming some media like maybe a podcast from someone whose energy I vibe with and to ease my energy in. See, I was kinda exhausted from the day and my energy was all in shambles. Zz, not feeling that great! Couldn’t relax! So I needed something to wind me down and put me in a perfect relaxed soothed state.
Eventually I stumbled upon a new video from a Youtuber whose vibes I really like, called Sooin. She talks about the baddie mindset. And well, honestly, perhaps I didn’t actually reap a lot of new learnings from the video, but the energy and vibes soothed my nervous system and thus I nicely winded down!
And I sorted out my thoughts after listening the video. One thing she talked about was how our nervous system likes to stay in what is known and fears the unknown. Thus we don’t like to venture out of our comfort zones and do new stuff. And we remain in situations that are bad for us just because we know how they are and fear the unknown even if it’s empowering! us against the toxicity of the current situation. Etc…
Well basically, I derived this statement from this.
The unknown is not to be feared. Datte (I mean), everything is always working out for me!
Bravely striding into the future and trusting the process – you shouldn’t! discount the power of that honestly! Afterwards, I went to Spotify shuffle liked songs before bed, and lol. I arrived at my own song Forward Fearless, and I couldn’t help but marvel inwardly at how similar the themes were to this way of being shared by that Youtuber in the video I’d watched earlier.
And then I let the song finish and enter the next song at 0.00 just to see what that song was, and literally, I laughed out loud lol. It was literally astounding. Sekai wa Koi ni Ochiteiru was the song. So essentially.
Falling in love with life. OMG. So yeah, that was the first song I listened to this morning because I went to bed after that… well, I did sort out my thought processes and briefly organised this article lying down… Chronological order of this article – I decided it then too!
Yeah some mental work in my head before falling asleep. I always believe that if you don’t manage to fall asleep right away, well maybe your mind wants to sort through some stuff first and then it’ll let you fall asleep. Obviously, I am not commenting on how this works for people with health issues who cannot fall asleep. That’s just something I apply to myself.
And yeah, one final thing. I didn’t reply the email to the music school yesterday. Why? Well, it’s not that my decision will change or anything honestly. Instead!!! Well, I just wasn’t in the right energy, state of being consistent with that action I’d like to do, aka sending that email see. I’d prefer to do it recharged and robust! And that’s something I’ll do soon, alongside another admin thing also about passion for the theatre group.
And with that yeah, I think I’ve wrapped up my article! As always, I enjoyed writing it. I loved flowing through it. And I think I also did manage to get some valuable perspectives across. Yay! 🙂 So it’s still! rather!!! early at 9+am, so I’ll go think about what I’ll do next for the rest of the day! Creative admin stuff aside, there’s definitely Duolingo where heheh, I might just get first again, and then I honestly would love!!! to compose.
My weekly music composition for my next new song see. Now technically there’s a bit of leeway insofar as tomorrow’s a public holiday and so I can do it then. But if I have the energy, well… tbh my energy levels are still!!! relatively high now I’m feeling, and kinda soaring in bliss too. Kinda… Apart from that, well, maybe outside food dinner at night at that place? Possibly! Not confirmed yet! Or maybe I could go watch that Demon Slayer Infinity Castle movie? It’s been on my list for a while actually.
Crunchyroll free trial woohoo!
See, last year I didn’t yet have the practice of watching the movies I really wanna watch. But this year, I’m sure I have it now. Because this year, I’m starting to better cultivate the habit of consuming media I like, be it this show I wanna watch or this webnovel I like to read… oh and by the way! The Angel Next Door anime? I’ve watched a few episodes on Netflix… I really love it kinda! Hahah! I sorta like the way the girl MC talks.
Oh, and LKY is in the finals of the Singapore Open at 4pm today… I’m personally rooting for him! All the way! His path to the finals has been kinda legendary yo! A home victory would be so sweet like fr. Yeah!
Anyway. I think this is as good a place as any to end this article and go consume a bit of morning nutrition aka breakfast. Phew. Off I go bye!
Daimon out.