Hey all! I’m back!!!
Now, today’s article won’t really be about any specific topic. Instead, it will be more of a generalised overall update!!
With that, let’s begin! π
…Okay, where should I start. Hmm.
Well, okay. Here I guess. The main reason behind the release schedule discrepancy thingy. So actually I kinda wrote a post about this before, and the main thing, really, is this duality of freedom thing that I realised.
So basically, yeah. There is a freedom in being able to live in your highest expression. I even liken that to a fish in water and a bird soaring in the air. One might say that’s perfectly their element!! However, even then, a bird isn’t gonna be flying all the time! At times, it perches. At night, it sleeps in its nest.
Similarly, for human beings. It may well and truly be utter bliss to be in your highest expression, yes. However, at the same time!!! There is also that other dimension of freedom. That’s where you are bound, chained even, to your perhaps even self-imposed responsibilities. Consider your inner child. Do you remember your youth?
I remember it well. We were utterly free from wacky stuff like productivity. No instead, we could happily and proudly burn our time, get lost in rabbit holes all we wanted! Awww. Now that we’ve become adults, oftentimes by extension our lives become closed by rigid walls that we set on ourselves. The freedom of spontaneity is lost as it all becomes a task to tick off…
Even leisure.
That’s super pitiful indeed.
Now, basically what I noticed was that on some Sundays, I would come home maybe around 5, 6pm? But then the self-imposed ‘duty’ I had set on myself was such that I would have to write these articles. Now, first, let me emphasise that it’s not that I don’t actually enjoy writing these. On the contrary! No, actually I think I kinda do. But hey, there’s a fine balance.
Incidentally, my North Node in the 6th house is in Libra… never mind…
Basically, balance. I seek a harmonious balance between all the different elements in my life. And that also includes the element of consuming media and living through them and enjoying myself to the max k!!
So indeed, I have always allowed myself that balance of spontaneity. For instance, today I spontaneously went for a family brunch that was totally unplanned prior and I really enjoyed it. It has always been like this really!!
Still, one thing’s different. Previously, even as I allowed that spontaneity, I would have that self-imposed responsibility set upon myself such that I had in a sense limited, pushed myself into definitely having to fulfill. Necessarily having to show up and do this, well though technically… it doesn’t exactly give back to me all that much aside from in the moment relish. π
But now, I don’t want to have to force myself to definitely have to show up and perform in this aspect. Overall, I want to maintain that oh harmonious balance. And that leads to the following result: I don’t necessarily always have to self-impose this thing on myself as something I must get checked off the list for sure! No instead, it’s something I want to do and will do if I have time, but if I don’t, well, I’m no worse off for it!
(Where I would have been worse off for it is if I’d made it a must-do see.)
And so yeah. I WILL NOT overdo it on that scale and tip that balance.
Now instead, let me introduce just 2 places where I’ve thought of an optimisation for that part of the scale.
First, games. Now, I’ve reclaimed it. Just burning my excess time on games, not really to win and be the best, but more to have fun and be a version of myself that I enjoy even. And most importantly, the freedom. The freedom where I can just totally burn my time and not have anything to show for it whatsoever? The honoring of my inner child? So claiming that! π
Aha, this segues perfectly into an interesting next part.
Now, needless to say, some parts of who I am just will not change. You see now I’m kinda a singer-songwriter. In fact this week I even released this Chinese song and I’m sure it’ll be released any time now. ιζ – the link. And actually, tbh, I’d thought that since I’m planning to start singing lessons again next week, I might take a break from weekly composing for a bit…
But no. Why today morning, I actually woke up, but I couldn’t really relax because I wanted to do something fun. Well, maybe more like productive? Idk. Anyways, yeah. This morning I composed a Japanese song, for which I’ll be composing music for in the upcoming weeks. And really, backstory is that I grew weary of only doing English songs and wanted to add this polyglot element into singer-songwriter hehe.
But anyway, yeah. Some things will always! stay with you. It seems that really, said hobby/identity will be consistently staying with me going forward.
So, moving on, regarding my life schedule in general.
On the one hand, if all goes well and this irritating bad throat that has been plaguing me since cycling two weeks back kindly goes away, I’ll be starting singing lessons again starting next week. Which, btw, 2022 was the first! year I took singing lessons and actually sung. Wow! Brings me back!!! Natsukashii na! π
And then there’s also my weekly composing. Well of course, sometimes I do it on weekdays, but I can’t ensure that I’ll always be able to do that. Really Sunday is my fall-back option for my weekly composing so…
And then there’s consuming media and giving back to myself.
Well, to be honest I started watching movies that I like again. Now last week I actually watched Colony, a Korean movie and I super enjoyed it. Basically I really love watching movies about the human condition. The element of sci-fi helps too. And I loved!! Train to Busan… Anyway, yeah. This upcoming year, there are a few movies I feel like watching at the cinema for sure.
One, well, Supergirl, maybe. Another, well the Robin Hood one, possibly kinda feel like giving it a chance. The Odyssey? Definitely. Spiderman? For sure. And yeah so, I wanna keep my life rich and enjoyable. By the way, okay, let me emphasise again what routines are for. They are only good insofar as they provide structure and inputs what works for you into yo life… But otherwise, if they began to force, even deplete or diminish ya… beep! Bye!
So yeah. I actually am striving for the ideal balance. Ya know it does actually kinda feel liberating to be typing like this, them words just gushing!!! out like a geyser. But yeah. See, the thing is that most importantly, I’ve got a new element entering my life. So I’ve got to let everything flow around until they come to a nice, comfortable rest ok!
For you know, as a multipotentialite/polymath/Renaissance man or whatnot, I actually have other things in my life. For instance, I derive much joy and pleasure from Duolingo Korean. My schedule in Section 5? has now turned out to be 50 units/3 weeks. And I am actually ranked 1 amongst the Diamond Championship dudes now. I relish it so…
Not stopping anytime soon! Well for Japanese since I can already write songs with just a little bit of referring to the dictionary app every now and then I guess I’m already at the high-end of upper-intermediate if not advanced. For Korean I aim to reach at least score/level 100 as represents!!! the threshold into upper-intermediate too. That is, if I don’t seek to hit 130, finish the entire series and reach the advanced threshold.
Yeah, anyway, it’s something that brings me considerable relish in my life. One of the things amongst everything that needs to be balanced!
And let me talk about something also yeah. Now, when we’re full of energy it’s totally k. We’re totally robust. But when we’re relatively depleted! Oh no. That’s when bad thoughts can enter our mind. We’re weakened!!!
That’s what happened to me yesterday. Yesterday I cycled 23.08. It was well, only my second-best because 2 weeks ago, I did 23.85, and maybe half a minute faster total timing too. But hey! The consistency showed…
Anyways, yeah. Afterwards I reminded myself. Hey! It wasn’t all that long ago I hit 10km. And just maybe 2 3 months ago, I was still setting 15km as my next goal! And I’ve totally surpassed that! So I should be really proud of myself! What am I doing not feeling really good about myself huh!!! Really I’ve been doing an amazing job!
But yeah. Basically when you’re depleted, you start to lose your inner stability. And so yesterday I was kinda looking around for stuff to replenish!! my stability, some cool energy source. And finally…
I found one. This podcaster called Aileen Xu was amazing. She actually brought me to be an inner state of absolute peace just by listening to her voice yesterday. Because see, sometimes you just aren’t exactly in a mood!! to be replenished by consuming media aka fiction. But it really is amazing!! when you’re able to find these energies, that, just by latching on, you get to totally replenish and feel whole again. All the bad thoughts just dissipate…
And thereafter in the future, whenever my energy is ugh and I just want a place to feel peace at, there’s probably where I’ll be going again… Stability secured yay!
You know, peace is the ultimate foundation in love yo.
Now, her podcast episodes are bi-weekly. So I suppose that maybe these articles can be bi-weekly too henceforth. Heh.
And to end off the article… let me talk about a thought I had a the hawker centre just now. The thought… well it’s more like a question. Why!! do you work so hard? And I instantly answered it within seconds… and then I felt so good.
Basically the answer is epitomised by one word: devotion.
Now, for many people their efforts stem from lack. They don’t feel whole and they’re desperately trying to make up for an incomplete sense of self. …But alas, before they find it’s true root whatever they’re doing won’t be helpful. Sigh.
But devotion! Now, that’s love. It stems from wholeness and completion.
Basically, it’s a form of worship to the universe. Ultimately the devotion is performed through me trying to achieve human flourishing or the so-called eudaimonic state the best I can. And that is my worship or alternatively, highest joy, highest calling. Thus, why am I trying so hard?!! Well, I rebut that. I am not trying too hard, no no. Why instead I am in fact!! trying to reach that highest cultivation state as epitomised by balance.
AND it is necessarily true that in this highest state, my inner state will be one of utter joy, freedom, peace. I, carefree and unrestrained η¬ε²ζ±ζΉ… For amidst that ideal balance I live in, self-love is also well present. Flow…
I live perfectly amidst nature’s rhythms, not trying so hard, surrendered to and flowing where life leads me. I live my highest expression in joy, but at the same time, my heart sings in freedom in unfettered spontaneity. Zero forcing. Only channeling into what works in a relaxed flexible schedule, only living to the fullest! in utter liberation. Relinquishing the elements which aren’t my authenticity. settling into what is truly meant for me.
Stepping into one’s dharma, living one’s ideal life.
Meh hath transcended mehness. Meh be wacko all meh wan, meh be serious all meh wan. Meh fully embrace meh in a life no longer Meh.
TL: Just be you. Fully you. Embracing all of you. Freely so. And that doesn’t harm nodody. Live by the Golden rule of doing unto others!
As society becomes more and more spiritually developed, more and more!!! will authenticity be seen as the highest good. Into alignment!
Daimon out.