Hey all!
Today I’ll be talking about how true knowledge comes from within. To illustrate this I’ll use an example from yesterday! So here goes.
So basically yesterday was a rest day for me. The theatre semester is over and I couldn’t go cycle because of the haze. So I was super free to go do whatever I wanted!!!
At first, I was kind of stuck because it’d been a while since it was so open-ended. But eventually, I found out that for the most part, whatever works, works.
The most satisfying part was consuming fiction for sure. I caught up to the webnovels Tribulation of Myriad Races and Genius Archer’s Streaming. It’s amazing, that feeling. Just got to catch up to like 38 unread chapters of Star Gate now, and then I’ll be mostly caught up and can read other stuff!! And even better, I organised the shows I’m watching on Netflix. I guess I’ll just briefly mention the categories here.
There’s a Japanese morning drama with about 15 minutes each episode. I recently started watching it with Japanese subtitles one episode at a time, every now and then! It’s in Kansai-ben, aka another dialect but it’s cool. Then there’s the Korean show about someone who lived like 18 lives before. I have just 3 episodes left. Then I just started this Taiwanese drama yesterday called Autumn’s Concerto. I feel a strong affinity to the accent so yay.
And then there’s also this Chinese drama I’m watching which I often watch an episode of after lunchtime at work. And two many seasons show, which I’m going through slowly, one of which is Manifest because I can appreciate it now. Couldn’t years ago. And Victorious for the comedy and finally, like about 5 anime. The girl actress pseudo harem one also for the comedy, Ramparts of Ice for the feels, Angel Next Door for the purity…
Anyway, yeah. I got it organised.
Moving forward, I’ll probably always have a Japanese, a Korean, a Taiwanese and a Chinese drama to watch other than an English one. And yeah, I watched a fantasy movie yesterday as well, Inkheart. Tbh I kinda feel it sucked a little, but the genre, ah yes. That’s perfect for me. Mm fantasy ftw! Along with science fiction like Edge of Tomorrow that I’m planning to watch, or some anime movies like Cosmic Princess Kaguya which was actually yesterday’s second option…
So yeah. I really loved yesterday. Though to be honest, at the start of the day I was really overwhelmed with not knowing what to do because of a sudden lack of plans.
But anyway, enough of me being happy and passionate about all this lol…
Let me share what it is that I wanna share. I know it’s kinda strange that I was digressing maybe, but this is just to have fun so hehe.
So yeah… along the way yesterday, being too free, this also came to mind – hmm, maybe I should find one or two communities to join on the side for my free time!
The thought did cross my mind, yes.
And the closest community that did seem like it would be a good fit was the go community which I know someone who can introduce me to. I’d probably join when I completed the first graduation exam of the skill tree on Gomagic, I thought. Just about 7/5 more units to go before then huh!
But now, I did not feel called to go pursue any new community, so despite searching for a bit I eventually stopped and went to go do something else.
I want to play some games. But ultimately, they did not exactly feel right for me. I didn’t feel that exhilarating freedom and sense of fufilment. I eventually stopped because it just didn’t feel right. Well, fiction did!!!
……
But that night… was it when I was showering? Something came to me!!!
I suddenly recalled something I had said earlier.
Ah! I really love the feeling when the friends come over and we just play poker cards randomly together, without money of course! Or when family comes together and we just play mahjong together, without money of course!
Then I recalled how when serving the army in National Service (NS), we all played Fifa together on the playstation. Then I recalled how at that previous job, we all played foosball together during lunch break. Yeah, I won my literal very first games there, but that’s not the point!! The point is, for me, games are for community! I recall how when I played Valo with my friend in recent months, a very comedic side or version of myself emerged.
Anyway, long story short, I had been going about this the wrong way!! I’d been trying to play games alone because I do many things alone. But for me! Games are amazing because they’re my best community activity!!! Probably like how some people’s community activity is like watching sports or whatever! I really feel connected, and happy, and free! Moreover…
Earlier in the day, I had actually been playing around with the idea of potentially joining some community in my mind. Not exactly overthinking, but it’s mind work. Thinking. But that’s of a lower grade tbh.
That night, what came to me was different. It was like an aha! moment, colloquially put. Well, perhaps I should have been able to see it earlier, one might think? No. For nevertheless, it just clicked for me then. And then! The knowledge of yes, I should do this stemmed from within. And I actually also got the sense that, from here on out, things might just flow in this area with ease. It could even feel like a coincidence or serendipitous!
Basically, a feeling like for a stream flowing, it had finally found its way around the obstacle, and from here on out, it would all be smooth sailing. Gush! Whoosh! Burst!
Before that, however much! you forced, pointless!!! You’d just be blocked.
…I don’t know if I expressed this very properly, so let me just use another example.
Yesterday, I was trying to think of something to write for today’s article. I tried this and that idea, but meh.
But finally, the idea for this article came to mind, and it just felt right. And at that point knowing it clicked perfectly, I knew I would be going to do it.
Basically, when the time is not right, there’s nothing you can do. You can’t just force it, for it won’t work anyway… However much effort, evaporates anyhow!
But when it clicks, cool. You actually have this inner knowing within you that it’s right for you, that it’s aligned with you.
Of course I suppose sometimes it’s not as clear as that, but you must still navigate the best you can. Desire is a good guidepost!
And on that, how you feel or state of being is also a good market. Like if you see what really aligned with me yesterday for leisure, they were book fiction and drama fiction. And they felt perfectly right. But games… they didn’t feel right! They should just be something to play like a child when needed I guess, for me myself! For a brief change of pace, then bye!!!
…Oh wait, am planning to find a community? Yeah. Right. What I mean was, solo gaming! Yep.
So if you ask me, I’d say this. The way it felt yesterday when doing the game thing was partially like I was trying to check off a list. Okay, this done! Good! Well, on to the next one then? And not as super fulfilled honestly. Just going through the motions. And even after the games had ended, I didn’t feel all that super amazing. I just felt as though alright, I’d checked the task off a list! On to the next one! …In that sense, they didn’t truly fulfill me.
For what fulfilled me, like for that fiction I consumed, well… on one hand there was no self-doubt whatsoever. It just felt right. And if you were to ask me if it were meaningful, that I were satisfied and would want to change anything, it’d be a I’m happy. I’m just happy. I feel good!
So basically, it doesn’t come from the mind. It comes from the heart.
The mind is kind of subservient to the heart. The heart knows what’s true decides the direction and gets the mind to work on its behalf. And no, this is not totally saying you should just live by your emotions and possibly just get triggered all the time. Totally not.
Instead, the heart can totally be objective as well. It’s just that, in that objectivity, it’s about a subjective truth, its own truth. The emotions are subjective, of a subjective illusion that just passes by and disappears soon. However, truth is eternal, and the heart’s truth for oneself, you know to be what you must do.
I kinda just made that up but it kinda fit lol. ><
Um… basically I guess. Stillness. Let your answers come from stillness. That stillness is kind of the truth of reality itself too in a sense, yeah?
…All right, let me not. But how you feel truly is a good guidepost.
Only, I suppose, be objective enough not to get swept away off your feet by something fleeting?…
Whatever. I rest my case. Hope I got enough solid truth in there…
I’m gonna end the article, but before that, let me just say this okay.
Know what truly is and isn’t aligned with you. For the former, man.
They just make you happy. Fulfilled. For the latter? Well. They don’t.
Simple as that!
(You’re just checking off some boxes!)
Let me use housework as an example as well to round this all up.
When there are things in the sink and I wash them and stuff like that, huh. It totally feels aligned. It totally feels right doing it, what I know I gotta do.
See? This can be true for housework as well!!!
Meanwhile, there are also some things that, well, you gotta do just because you gotta do. Not because truly you wanna do them. No, more because of other people so you’d better do them! But honestly it’s kinda a drag, more like fulfilling a meh responsibility?! Like honestly, because they expect it of you. And ya gotta live up to those expectations or harmony compromised.
Or for work, they assigned it to you, so even if it doesn’t really feel so nice to you, aka you don’t feel in your element and truly living up to yourself at all, well, you just gotta do it anyhow. Tbh though… Shikamaru: what a drag.
Note: It can totally be the opposite too. They assigned it to you and maybe it’s not your highest expression, but it’s still something that makes you feel like you! A good exercise of yo abilities! A smooth and harmonious flow…
…I am aligned.
Yeah, gotta say it’s probably a spectrum. Some things more than others.
Alright, I don’t know how great a job I’ve been doing of explaining all this, and I suppose possibly it’s a little abstract, but still yeah. I had a good time. And now I’m gonna end this article. Again, I want to emphasise. Do not!!! try to compete with people in their element when it’s not your element. I mean, that’s just dumb. Do you compete with a monkey on tree swinging, a bird on flying? No! You just do you, based on what’s true for you! It will flow, and everything will be harmonious and easeful.
And you can reach your highest potential and actualise yo divine blueprint.
Anyway, I’m done. Bye y’all. Have fun!
…The next song on my phone Spotify just happens to be Flowers by Miley Cyrus. (No obviously I wasn’t listening when writing! This isn’t my office work lolz!!!) I guess this is a good sign to go give back to myself and chill. Happily enjoy life. In an idyllic life ye don’t overgive. Give right, enjoy!
Live to the fullest and stop caring so much about comparing, that’s lame. Or where you aren’t yet. Wherever you are on your journey, the journey can still be an epic tale and gold. Even in infancy or the growth phase simply be like the reader, enjoying. But also, be yo main character!!!
Man I’m feeling sentimental today. Fr!! Not wanting to stop. Huh…
Peace. Love and light.
Daimon out.