It took me a long time to get inspired enough on a topic to write about, but now I’ve done it. Basically, it is as the title suggests! I’ll start with my personal journey in this domain.
My very first fiction book was a utopian novel based on how an ideal society would be like. Well technically, the non-fiction prose came first, then I was inspired to turn it into fiction. Looking back, the overall creation then was more about establishing a structure and just fitting everything into that framework. Encapsulating the main theme was key!
Ever since then, any other works under the general category of art that I have written share quite a similarity. That similarity is that in general, they all are reflections of reality to some degree with an autobiographical element. This is of course despite the fact that they are undeniably artistic creations. Note: This includes not just fiction but also scripts to memorise and act out in front of others.
So in that sense, maybe I can tell myself that good, you are willing to and do actually share past experiences to entertain or even wow people with; that’s not that easy actually! Or you’re good at transmuting stuff! Nice!
However, at the end of the day, I’ve realised that I’ve bypassed an alternative style/goal of writing.
See, a month or two ago I attempted writing a webnovel, and the premise was precisely none other than myself from the past, albeit under an alternative name and such. The idea was that my glow up! from being utterly repressed to freely expressive was real and would be nice to write about… might even serve as a source of inspiration or cool coming-of-age growth tale, huh.
But see, the thing was that I totally didn’t have any motivation to write it much at all! I stopped after maybe like what, 10 chapters? I just added everything I remembered, all the main points to a timeline to be an essential part of the plot, but I totally had nothing in between to write at all. I threw in the towel and told myself: Well, what this shows is that you don’t have the talent for writing! Leave it for those who do and really!! go admire and marvel at their work, their craft! Which you sadly do not have the aptitude for!
Well until today I was kinda in surety of that. Until at the very end of my afternoon walk, as I was busily sifting through my head for potential topics to write about here, it ultimately dawned on me.
I had been misguided, and I had simply been going about it the wrong way!
Now, one thing I know for sure is that people can be multifaceted.
I mean, I kinda consider myself the poster child of being multifaceted, so lol. But see, the main thing is this. One thing that I’ve always been trying to do: Fully bring out, express and live out! all the different facets of myself. For I may be in so-and-so personality usually, but what then about the alternative parts of myself that are not being embodied?
Actually, to be honest, this is the whole reason why I am even into acting in the first place. The number one reason is to be able to put myself into the roles of other characters and roleplay them out, basically live them!!! Now I believe in authenticity and don’t go around playing fake versions of myself in general. I only play them when I’m acting/role-playing yo. And I mean, that’s literally the only chance I ever get to live out/play these other personalities!
Now, consider this other aspect. I previously theorised that the whole point of reading and consuming works of fiction, including dramas and movies and all that, is simply to live through those characters! I live them out, experience their journeys, root for them alongside them as I witness it.
And today, literally just an hour or so ago, I realised: Hey!!! Can’t I freaking do that as an author as well?!! I can totally also write and therein live out a character that I would like to experience! For one truth is that the author really is the sum total of their characters. Literally every single part of them stems from the grand totality of the one author. (Could even draw a parallel to spirituality with this, but let’s not go there now heh).
So anyway, back to the topic. To sum up my realisations, yeah, maybe it was a tad to quick to tell myself that I don’t have the aptitude for writing and totally just give up on it. I mean, I’m still not really sure to be honest how much it aligns with me… but I could totally give it another try. And from here on out!!! No longer am I only going to stay so fixated on that motivational speaker-esque kind of writing where it’s more to impart or educate or inspire!
Rather, I can totally see myself envisioning and creating characters that I myself really enjoy, then living them out as I write out their personalities and their corresponding reaction and action towards events. And huh! I suspect I might get far more motivation to write fiction sustainably then! Though of course, I still haven’t come to believe that it’s totally for me yet. But still, this has become one of the possible pursuits for me as I seek to grow and embody my fullest potential! Which is serious… yet carefree!
I mean I do have my hardcore areas… but don’t! think I’m not chill because of that! Don’t forget the multifaceted epitome of contradictory traits oh so perfectly, harmoniously coexisting! Note: From the stuff I write about you may think I read loads of non-fiction, but the truth is that I don’t ever and I’m actually a fiction nerd. Lol!
Conclusion: Maybe I’ll try writing fiction again, someday, in the near future if I find the time, and this time it won’t be in the style of imparting knowledge through prebuilt structures, or!! my past selves…
Rather, as was the whole reason that acting was even an interest of mine in the first place, this time, I’ll freaking live through the characters. Hah. For not only!! the giving to others, but for also the giving to myself as well!!
And with that we have come to the end of the article. I really hope that I get inspired wrt the topic much more quickly for next week and won’t go dragging it out all the way until my self-set limit of Wednesday again! Hah really!
Peace out. 🙂