Hey all! So I’m back to writing an article. Now, before I start, I gotta say that I don’t really have anything prepared for this article. It’s only that the topic suddenly really struck and resonated with me and so I’m writing about it now. Alright, let’s get started!
So basically, the direct impetus for me writing this article was the Japanese podcast episode by Miku sensei that I just listened to. Basically, it’s talking about some thoughts she had after spending some time living in America. Which I’ve never been the greatest fan of but well…
So basically, the part of the podcast that struck me the most was this. When in America, like I imagine is the case in much of the West, everyone can just randomly strike up conversation with mere passers-by. For instance, an example used in the podcast was this. Having menus in a restaurant, someone goes I wonder what’s nice to eat. A split! second later, a random stranger by the next table gives a recommendation!
Now, what can I draw from this example? Well, basically it’s this. People there see one another as one big family. They put one another into their hearts.
Let’s take a look at the East, like Singapore here in contrast. How’s it like?
Well, if you asked me to describe it, I’d say… polite outsiders.
For instance, let’s say I run into a stranger in the train station and for some reason, a conversation is struck up between us. Never by me, because I wouldn’t do that. No, what I do is I stand in readiness.
What do I mean by readiness? Well, I suppose it is what the Japanese might term as tatemae. Just imagine this.
You are working in public relations, PR!! for a business. Every now and then, Questions arrive. You think of ways to politely and efficiently fend off these questions. The most important thing herein, and I emphasise, is that your stance is one that – that no fault can be found with!!!
And basically, isn’t that how we of the East interact with the wide community at large? Yes, for instance, I think that any!! of us would direct a stranger to the nearest bus stop or train station. And yes, I find that commendable for sure.
However don’t you see?? In the process, our hearts are not! open to the people in question. We are simply going through the motions in doing what we believe to be the right thing, in which no fault can be found with us. Yes, we are courteous. However, we are courteous as only strangers going out our way in what we view to be normalcy, in mindlessly fulfilling the demands of everyday life.
Now, let me draw a bit of a contrast.
Something which I have noticed and I can confidently say for sure is that I am always polite and kind when with outsiders. It is only with those I am close to for whom the… different shades of colour, so to speak, flash within me. And I believe many will resonate with this too.
And why is that? Well! It’s purely because these people, I have allowed into my heart! They have a space within, as opposed to! Those people that I meet on the street, I feel a sense of separation from them! Thus tatemae is sustained as we just make sure to put up a civil front that merely makes sure that we fulfil our responsibilities and no fault can be found with!
But, in the process, do we truly have the leeway to be ourselves? Do we truly feel free amongst these other members of the public? No!!! We are bound!!! to the sense of ticking all the boxes, filling all the lines, akin to clerical work!
In that sense, sad to say, but we’re bound.
At least, if you take oneness as the truth and separation as myth, the state of affairs in the West is definitely more the ideal state I believe.
I feel that it is the absolute worst!!! when one has to enact this habit wherein all you are doing is going through the motions. Like, I have found myself gravitating towards it at least twice in recent days, and absolutely abhor it.
No. The utmost ideal is none other than freedom! When you are say holding back some part of yourself because you are concerned about how others are thinking of you, are you truly free? No!!
Basically, a part of you has put your guard up. A part of you still does hold the other party as separate from you, someone you cannot truly!! be yourself around.
Now, I’ll venture this. That, a thought has come to me in recent days. Like, what’s a friend?
Now, I can’t exactly throw my weight entirely behind this definition, because I haven’t fully processed it yet. However, I’ll just venture a definition that is at least worth giving some thought: Basically, a friend’s… someone that we can truly be ourselves around.
As opposed to what? Well, say, for example, the one that most directly!!! comes to mind for me would be dimming!! my light and helping to retain the overall harmoniousness of the environment… In the meantime, though, you’re, to put it bluntly, unable to fully be!!
And well, what is being? Basically, okay, let’s go to this simplest proof of it that comes to mind for me. Being able to engage in conversation relaxedly and fluidly! Now, it doesn’t even have to be spiritedly, k.
So with all that in mind, I have something that I would like to work towards in the future. Well, it’s obviously not that I can translate! another country’s culture into my country, but! Still!
Basically what I would like to do is help to draw out myself from any possible shell that might be holding me in and allow myself to fully be. As in, if said environment is not one where I can comfortably be, let the environment vanish from my life. However, if it is such that really, said environment is conducive but it is me for whom I am feeling a sense of separation from it, resulting in me not being able to comfortably reside…
Let me grow to a version of me that can comfortably, fully! be myself amidst such environments.
Alright!!! So it seemed that this article really worked out huh, despite being thoroughly spontaneous and without points thought of prior! I applaud that! Yay! And to anyone who reads this article, really, I’d invite!! you to consider as well: are ya comfortable where y’are?
Really, huh, it would be such a blissful! feeling, I feel, to treat everyone!! within the community, everyone within the country, as one! big! family! When helping strangers with directions, we do so not outta courtesy, but with an honest! authentic! true! sense of happiness concern etcetera! Woah!
Alright! I’ll be mushy here and say much love to y’all! Have a great day! Daimon out! Bye! 🙂