Hi, y’all. The thought just came to me, and so I’m gonna write about this today.
Now, something about human beings is that we need social bonds. Up to a certain limit, of course, because we can’t sustain too many. It is quality over quantity.
But hey! Oftentimes, the thing about bonds is that they don’t stick! The bonds last for only just as long as they are necessitated, and as soon as circumstances no longer dictate your shared being within a space, it’s bye-bye!
Hah, even wrote a song about that before, Fleeting Bonds.
But anyway!
As I was saying, oftentimes, bonds don’t stick.
Of course, there’s a lot we could say about that! For example, we could say that it is not us but a higher power that dictates which bonds do stick. And hey, if we even vibed, surely!!! we’d keep in contact!
But still, today, let’s take a look at how these lasting bonds are formed, okay, because they are so very important for our valued mental health.
As far as I can see, the very prime factor that allows for these bonds to be maintained is none other than a shared interest in a particular area!
Like, just look at two communities that I’ve recently integrated into, badminton community X and theatre community Y. It is precisely because of a common interest in said areas that we’ll meet every single!!! week, partaking in basically that said activity!
If not for this shared interest, well, to be brutally honest, we’d be total strangers!!!
So as I see it, a shared interest which overlaps us is utterly essential.
Of course, compatibility is a very important component too. That’ll really cause the bond to last come what may!
But even before compatibility, we must first be inserted into the community with our presence and shared engaging of activities.
Sometimes, it’s quite a no-brainer. Students in the same class, servicemen in the same national service unit… life basically strongarms!! us into having to be together anyways!
But then comes the question: apart from that, how, just how? might lasting bonds form?
So for me I’ve really had quite a bit of experience in this matter, with a lot of been there, done that… One thing, for instance, which I must emphasise definitely not to do is to doggedly stick to a single particular!! activity while not really being so super interested in it and just being like waiting for someone to notice you and adopt you into their circle.
Regretfully, from what I can tell, life just doesn’t really seem to work that way anyways! Furthermore, should you really be in something which you’re not that interested in just for a sense of community alone??? Hmm… I wonder.
Ideally speaking, for bonds to actually blossom, reciprocity aside, a factor that is utterly essential is none other than time.
Therefore, please. When you’ve decided: Okay, I’ll commit to this activity for a while and try to make friends in the circle! Alright!
Please don’t just go for it once and then, when it doesn’t work out, just move on to the next one! And so on and so forth! Because see, that is kind of a failed strategy. If you do that, you’ll likely never find where you belong!!!
Instead, say you want to enter a community which, to be sustainable, naturally meets up consistently.
Well then! Make sure that you commit yourself to attending at least a handful of those regular sessions, why don’t ya!
1: You really super enjoy the sessions themselves, so whatever possible outcome happens, you’ll find it well worth it!
2: You naturally become a regular member of said community!, and thus it would be 100% to call yourself a part of it! And in the meantime, hey! Slowly, over time, it’s only natural that you’ll build up bonds with said community’s preexisting members!
The thing about being members of true!! sustainable communities is simply that they are well worth it. You regularly meet up and vibe with ’em, see, and you gain sufficient fulfilment in the process. Thus you gain a lasting source of contentment in your life, and isn’t contentment precisely the emotional key ingredient to a flourishing life?
Therefore, just think about it! If there’s a particular area in which you have considerable interest, try to become a member of the said group! Invest that effort while already enjoying each single meeting in itself!
A kinda self-evident truth in life is this, see. If it means enough to ya, you’ll commit to working on it, no matter what!
Okay, now give me a moment to lament on life a little bit!
1: Many people only dream. They say: I think, I’d like to do this one day. However, they never actually ever commit to it! Seriously, people. What more could I say than how… that really doesn’t seem to matter that much to you then!
2: Life ain’t that easy. Oftentimes, the path is not thoroughly smooth and a breeze. Think of it as a maze. You run into a dead end. Aw, sad! Now ya gotta trace back your path and renavigate. Here, ya may just give up… but, hey! If it is important enough to you… would you really?
3: The thing about pioneers is that with nobody scouting ahead for ’em, they themselves will take those wrong turns and have to renavigate. In this case, an example would be, say, trying to join communities for the things that you’re not really interested enough in, and although there is some result at least on a surface level, you eventually just quit anyway.
Ah… So, hah, you can thank me for pioneering a bit here, if ya wanna!
Anyway. Back to the topic.
So, the main point I’m trying to raise today is this.
If you have a particular interest which you’d like to indulge in with a particular community, why then, make the effort! See, we are! in a globalised age of community where everyone is linked via Wifi.
Discord, Meetup, group chats, anything! These are all avenues through which some pretty nice communities can be sustained.
So ideally, how about this? Why don’t we try to slowly but surely integrate into communities for all the interests that we want?
Sure, sometimes, there may be difficulties faced. For instance, let’s say that you don’t fit the regular mold of members in your community and you’re unfairly judged! Why then! With your presence show them the part of you that really vibes with the community!
Someone created a group but is just letting the group lie stagnant, and eventually it’s just gonna fade away into nothingness? Why then! Do not! be a no-doer like this regular status quo has conditioned you to be!!! Actually take the initiative and mount a call to action of sorts within the group yo!
See, if you think about it, are we just powerless individuals! Nah! Truthfully speaking, like everyone possesses a sort of creator consciousness! You alone can step forward, BE a voice. Consequently!!! Changed is enacted! Hallejulah! Even just through a mere, subdued 5 little words like ‘hey, does anyone wanna meet?’
Through that the group starts! A community is created! Lasting bonds are forged! Like, woah!
Of course, I really gotta say that one man’s meat is another man’s poison. Like, this group was created which technically, you fit into.
However, you attend the session and feel super super bored! Like an abject boredom, which makes you wonder ‘what am I even doing here’!
Well! In such a case, it’s totally free country to not join that community! Instead, join the ones that you do vibe with!!! Hey, let’s not even judge that community. Said community could even be something that fulfils some for real, filling their hearts with joy and contentment! Hey who knows?
But still! If it ain’t for ya, well, it ain’t for ya! No need to force it yo!
Let’s go back to how as human beings, we need social bonds to live a good life. Some people are good in isolation and only want to hang out with friends every once in a blue moon. Sure. Whereas some just cannot do without social interactions at all. Like, even if it’s totally shallow and all they’ll still go. Because it’s a source of pleasure for them, don’t judge!
Still, at the end of the day, all of us have this one human need, which is to be long. Going into spirituality, some might even talk about soul tribes or even soul mates, and twin flames and whatever… huh.
Whatever the case, let’s just do this okay. I have this interest, and I wanna expand on it. Still, I alone am insufficient for that! I need like-minded connections to engage in this interest together with, preferably!
Well then! Search for those connections! And above all, remember that the ones that are most truly meaningful are the ones to which you can commit and stick to for a long time, which you can forge those nice lasting bonds outta!
For areas in which you are completely void, blank, nada, maybe, possibly, try a little something? Hmm…
Hey yo!
Like that song from Pink goes:
Where there is desire, there is gonna be a flame
Where there is a flame, someone’s bound to get burned
But just because it burns doesn’t mean you’re gonna die
You’ve gotta get up and try, try, try
Gotta get up and try, try, try
You gotta get up and try, try, try
Remember! Life has its ups and downs, so it’s actually quite likely that things may not go all that smoothly as you’ll run into a number of bumps along the way. But still!
Life becomes truly meaningful when you’ve forge those great connections, remember!!!
So today I’ve provided a bit of a blueprint for how you might wanna try going about this, and I hope that it might be of benefit and service to some. Regardless, I… had totally no idea that I was gonna write about this today, but now I have, and I rather enjoyed the writing!, so yay me.
That’s all for today people! Wishing ya all the best, like always! Yeahh!
Daimon out.