Hey all! So I’ve thought of what to write about for my latest article. It’s really about this insight that I’ve just had today, and I’ve no idea how much I’ll be able to milk out of it, as in the length of this article is potentially questionable.
Well, but still, that’s just how it goes. On I delve into the topic!
Anyway, I’ll be totally honest with y’all and say that the solar plexus chakra happened to cross my mind today. Yep. So, to make a long story short, it is kinda about control and doing and, imo, self-worth too to a degree. So I was simply wondering about my own situation wrt this.
Then the thought crossed my mind: welp, it shouldn’t be that great, simply because I kinda feel like I’m just going along with the flow, being adaptable and stuff and surrendering and accepting what has decided to come yo. In that sense, isn’t it kinda a low level thing? I mean… huh! I just don’t feel very much like I’ve got a lot of control man…
And then I wondered: How can one possibly feel a sense of control? I reflected a little… and an answer came to me!!!
Like basically, say you’ve got a level of ability in one area. Then, you so-called flex that skill, living it out to the fullest and allowing it to flourish through you in all its aspects. In that sense, you’re kinda somewhat like a dancer as you express all the sublimity of it!
Still that realisation didn’t end so straightforwardly, in the sense that I actually didn’t really feel like I was really doing this much in any area. Huh.
Like, take for example this blog. I mean, yeah, I suppose I would say that I enjoy it in the sense that I kind of totally lose myself in it, sorta being absorbed and entranced wholly by said activity so to speak. It’s something I give my stamp of approval.
However, as something that I fluidly wield, as though a lightsaber? Or light brush across a canvas? No!! Not that much really!! I would say it would be more likely if I were doing writing for the artistry aspect like fiction for example, but I ain’t. I’m doing it more for like… self-growth.
I also thought about other things I did. What about badminton? I try to go for it every week!
But tbh if you ask me really, I don’t really think I’m that skillful in the sport. I suppose I must be, to some degree, because of practice you see, but… at the very least, I’m relying more on pure instinct or reaction time alone and honestly speaking rather lack control!!! Like, I can’t even pick up the shuttlecock with my racket, let alone choose alright I wanna hit the ball here so there I will hit it. I just enjoy the thrill process alone!
Anyway I only do it once a week and am not passionate enough about it to even practise DIY in my free time. So really, enough said about that activity. Hmm, maybe I’ll really get serious about it someday… Yeah.
What else crossed my mind? Well the activity would be something flowing with seamless ease through me to fit my definition of it…
So basically one of my other projects that I work on is the song project. Like, 1 Enneagram type 1 song. I completed song 8/9 today. Making nice progress. Yay. But, you see, if you were to ask me about this…
Nah. If you ask me, really, this actually also isn’t really something that I can flex and freely brandish at ease so to speak. I may or may not have said this before, but I treat it more like a good mental exercise and an interesting goal to have. It’s not something that I will really lose myself in.
Oh btw, before you guys complain about first-world problems, I get it yeah, So a japanese podcast episode I listened to today by Miku sensei mentioned how it’s great! that people even have the problem of feeling stuck nowadays whereas like two generations ago even having enough food on the table aka basic survival was a problem. Yeah, I know we should feel grateful!
And most importantly, this stagnancy signifies a boundary that can potentially be broken out of and transcended to achieve fulfilment! Growth is the name of the game, folks! So even if you’re in a growth stage, even then, there is so much you can be grateful for, is what said podcast said! Yeah!!!
Anyway… where was I. Right. I’ll just cut straight to the point.
So at the very least, as of right now, I have thought of two activities which might potentially fulfil said condition.
The first activity is basically singing, yeah. Like, right now singing isn’t exactly something that I can flex because in all honesty I don’t really have an idea of where I am at. I suppose I can sing quite well ok. However, how do I sound? What exceptional voice qualities might I have? How might I further throw and immerse! myself in this area? And so on and so forth see.
So basically, one idea that came to mind is that I should record my own voice and listen to me singing and see if I can glean anything from it. Most importantly, perhaps maybe I can try to see if I can like… uh. Actually fall in love with my own voice! Heh kinda cheesy but.
So previously I was wondering: How do I integrate singing into my life? In all honesty I don’t feel like I’ve done that very well at all. Nope, I don’t sing karaoke everyday even though I could actually do it. Unfortunately, the ball of life just hasn’t rolled that way for me.
You know, huh, I’ll be brave and honest and admit it. I’ve even tried the wackiest things! One of them was like, singing on a livestream, like ya know with people watching and giving stickers or commenting and all that. Huh. And all because of this thought: How might I possibly integrate singing into my life! Yeah I know weird concern.
But anyway, it was been there, done that! Novel experience, moving on! For me.
And right now, where I’ve progressed to is I’ve actually thought of an ideal stage that I want to reach in my singing… As I should have mentioned earlier, that’s where I can freely wield, maneuver it easefully!! like a blade or a brush or an extra limb! Yep!
So with that, I am kinda shown a way forward as it is like a lamp lit up for me in the darkness. Kinda overdramatic, I know, but basically yeah.
Anyway, moving on. Let’s move to activity 2.
So basically, it’s playing an online game called Valorant. It’s a gun shooting game and I’m more especially skilled at headshots. Right. Those do more damage.
First of all let me state my frequency of playing the game. Like, to someone like me… well, let me say that I’m totally the opposite of someone who can like just spend the whole day lazing on a couch watching TV. That’s simply something that is not aligned with my nature as I tend to, uh, well… like, maybe fill up my day with stuff.
Anyway, the game sure isn’t something that I play everyday. Weeks would be a better way to describe the frequency by.
Now, let me be super honest here. Yeah, maybe I am somewhat good playing this game. For example, it’s a 5v5 game, and I have killed all opponents with zero damage coming from allies in a round before. A good thing see.
However, I am not very ambitious in playing this game at all! So I do play the ranked games, but I am basically quite content staying in a rather low rank because this game isn’t something I tie my identity to, using a more complicated way of explaining things. Hope you get that.
So every now and then, I play it, and more often than not, it’s because I feel like I’ve got nothing better to do. And objectively speaking, it hurts a bit yes, but I do sorta feel that I’m kinda wasting my time playing it… like, I kinda intuitively sense that I place it like on a lower pedestal.
You know, like, some super hardcore people would say that huh, sleep is for the weak! I’m fine with that, I’ll get by with the minimum!
For me, who totally does not!!! align with this perspective, I might truly also somewhat feel that in a sense, I am at the level where I have transcended this mere bodily need that contributes in no way to real productivity… Well at any rate! Let’s just conclude that I play the game somewhat with a mentality of necessarily having to like eating okay.
But today my mentality changed, in the sense that my evaluation of the game changed.
Yes, I knew all along that I’m not exactly cut out to be a pro player in the sense that I’m not passionate enough to pour my whole life into gaming away. But today I found a different way of seeing al this!
Basically, this game is something which allows myself to fully flex my skills, like a blooming flower and its dancing petals. In that sense, it truly DOES allow me to live to the fullest!!! In the sense of… hey, honestly speaking, is there any domain which currently allows me to do this flexing? Well, at least, one which does didn’t come to mind right away! Maybe I have skills that I am developing, but for me, well.
Okay, to be honest, yo ease and fluidity, speaking in Japanese is one, yeah, I’ll admit.
But, in other areas, such as the new course that I’m studying right now… No! Well, maybe they will in the future, I don’t know. But at the very least, at this very moment, they are as yet an unexplored domain as pending scouting and development and thriving!
So in that sense, this game is so precious to me in the sense that at this!!! very moment, now, I get to fully live with control and ease, wielding and flexing and all of that! Yeahh!
Well basically, long story short, I’ve found further reason to play. Honestly speaking I don’t really know if I’ll integrate more of this game into my lifestyle, but one thing I know is that my opinion of its utility for myself has significantly risen. It is something where I can truly fluidly easefully allow life to be lived!!!
See, my definition of living to the fullest has somewhat expanded. Previously it was more about fully coming into alignment with all most!! meaningful thing that truly do resonate with me. In a sense… well, the game has always resonated with me, but I might have um kinda seen it as a bit of a time-waster? And thought that it was like… only a transitionary thing towards my highest fully evolved version.
Well, to be honest I still can’t say that my opinion of the game has super upgraded. And right, I fully appreciate how the game serves as a leisure activity for so many people okay! I’m just saying for me because I have kinda personally taken on more on my plate and maybe I thought that I have superseded that somehow… uh, I’m still not so sure honestly what really I think of that. So, radio silence on it.
But regardless, what I’m going to say is that I have discovered one thing.
In a sense, there is also this expanded definition of living to the fullest, which is basically achieving a certain level of mastery in a craft and becoming a creator in that field in a sense! So ya truly live it, by engaging in it alone!!! And said craft can be anything simply too, like driving, being a postman, or whatever! Maybe that role is you calling and you’re truly living it’s essence!
And isn’t it true in a sense? In unity consciousness, wouldn’t you say that everyone has a unique role of their own, and all of these roles just come together as individual puzzle pieces merged into a grand whole?
Yeah, I’m being long-winded here. I get it, ahaha. My bad. But, truly, what I’m trying to say now is that I’m kinda getting a little more open to the idea that, hey, maybe playing online games has a greater role in my life than I thought? Like in the sense that I can truly live to the fullest through them, which, by mere virtue of the fact that I can do so alone already merits it to be part of my life?
Like, as opposed to things that I have totally no skill in doing at all, like, say, dancing?>
Hmm, yep, food for thought, huh.
But regardless, back to this overall topic.
First, today, I randomly established that perhaps it would be nice to live out the solar plexus energy in truly! being in control of a situation and being able to wield power in it and have a degree of mastery over it.\
Next, I determined that I actually have this ability in said area of bluntly!! put, online games! Meanwhile, I can’t very well think of another area in which I do have this ability!!! Like, apologies, I am missing out of something maybe, and I might think of it later?? I am utterly unsure of that.
But regardless, in a sense, playing the game allows me to fully live!!!
So, me, should I not kinda promote this game in my subconscious as merely something that cool, I kind of have the ability to do pretty well, moving on! to woah, something that truly allows me to exercise ma own power!
So from something which had more of a backseat role, being more of an afterthought in my life, to something that honestly speaking, does! in a sense allow me to fully live and wield my capacities like a dancer of life?
Well, this concept is kinda crazy and I’ll be honest when I say that realistically speaking, I’m still trying to wrap my head around it!
Honestly speaking, I came to learn about this perspective by the process of writing this article itself yo! I even thought it might be a short article beforehand, but now I kinda feel maybe it’s turning out to be… longer?
Well, whatever. Time will tell. I hereby conclude this article!
Just one thing to say before I end, see. I hope that you too manage to locate these activities in which you are able to live to the fullest, just freely wielding it with all your creative capacities and in the process moving with it whilst adapting in real time as it unfolds, like how a surfer surfs a wave!
Now in a sense, these are gifts that the universe has blessed you with! So please, make good use of this gift in gracefully accepting the blessing! If they current hold low statuses in your mind of…
Like a mere skill that okay, you have, but you aren’t really valuing that highly, well, think again! Like… well, in a sense, every skill is a gift, is it not?! Think of where you would be without the skill and don’t take it for granted!
Huh, well, I’m getting long-winded today. I totally went in blind see but somehow managed to come out with a decent full-length article if I am processing this correctly. Cool. Huh, just me, trying to reach that nice eudaimonic state as always! Hah! (Hint: that’s living to the fullest and maxing everything out)
Alright, I’ll just fully accept the content of this article as it is whatever I’ve written, not think too much of it and just treat it as a good way of having spent time. In that sense there’s relaxation, ease and fulfilment. Whew.
Alright, done.
Okay, bye!
Till next week on my cool little self-imposed article writing schedule!