What is the greatest strength of human beings? Well, if you consider the story of the Tower of Babel, I think that it’s actually none other than communication itself. See, we are unable to get things done on our own. However, if we each play to our strengths and combine our efforts towards a single goal (I recently watched Doctor Stone for the first time lol should have done it before), we can achieve a result that is greater than the sum of its parts.
As I see it, two-way communication is one of THE low-key most precious things in this world. However, there is a catch! It’s not like you can communicate with anyone just because you want to! It’s just impossible because people are on different channels/frequencies. So on to the theorising…
Basically, for human to human communication, there is only a limited number of people whom you can devote some attention to, though admittedly for some people they wonder if they have more friends than zero. With the advent of messaging apps, phones have become a good alternative medium. Well, people who are great to talk to in real life can be mind-numbingly slow at replying to messages, though. Personally, I think that as long as one has the self-knowledge and is contented with their habits, it’s fine. Otherwise, though, as long as one is sufficiently determined, there is no nerve connection that cannot be literally forced through through sheer force of will, leading to a new channel in the mind where any specific process flows through easily! The electric signals that make up your mind, despite being you, are something you have control over – streams of fluid intelligence, yours to direct. Don’t fall into fixed patterns of acknowledged mediocrity!
How does communication between human beings work? Well, there are probably many theories about this, but I’ll stick to the aspects of a theory I recently learnt. Now, I pretty much disagree with that particular personality theory because I find that it puts people into stereotypical boxes and does not have much overall merit. However, the two aspects of communication-related personality it talks about, I find, should be pretty relevant for this. They are basically openness as well as directness, as well as to the opposite extremes.
Some people are open. Some people are closed. The former kind is apt to just randomly bare their selves to you if you show signs of interest. This is because they know that it simply will not be of any loss to them whatsoever – at most, the person will judge you. But if the person judges you, at least you tried! Of course, the feeling of being judged surely will sting, however much we try to lie to ourselves that it doesn’t. But mindset obliterates this! See, you have nothing to lose and all the world to gain – in other words, a successful communion, connection, resonating of hearts. For closed people, however, this ain’t so important, because they are fully self-sufficient and do not need others to understand them. Emotional, feely-feely stuff – please spare them all that drama. Maybe some nostalgia from time to time, and enough for emotional needs.
Then there is directness. It’s not as simple as being direct/not being direct like an on/off switch as work needs to be done! See, while sound works through stuff like wavelike signals, we human beings do not decode words like we do Morse Code. We do not attempt to fully decode the intent behind what is being transmitted by the other person! It is much likelier that we speed-process and pass our own value judgements on them instead, based on our individual worldviews that are forged by our experiences. See, someone who uses a more sciencey approach in language would precisely describe their intentions by saying like ‘for what it’s worth, I extend my goodwill to you as a fellow human being’. Meanwhile, someone who doesn’t read the meaning in words – someone with lower proficiency in logic and such will simply not be able to get it! It’s a connection failure! Thus, precision works great for science but not so great for communication with average people who are rather likely not so good at contemplation too.
What is the best way to communicate then? Well, I’m thinking meta – maybe something like I have been trying to do in this blog thus far? Basically, try to express stuff that can possibly be seen as complex in as simple a way as possible! This, I feel, is the key to communication. It’s overthinker-proof and efficient. Say you wanna know how good you are at Activity A and ask Person X about it. I mean, if you truly want an honest opinion and trust their judgment too, you’ll be super ureshii (happy) when they tell you what they honestly think! It’s crazy refreshing because you get feedback that you can better consolidate yourself with. Also, it really saves you the trouble of having to guess like 1 million times what someone is really thinking but to no avail because human beings are not mind readers! In fact, personally, I wouldn’t mind if we were lol – for me communication trumps all and goodwill and stuff would triumph at the end of the day. Anyway, the epitome is – get them with a single, impactful line. Just like the previous sentence (meta)!
The above type of directness may be seen as in conflict with tact. For example, people may say that you kuuki yomenai (cannot read the mood)! Still, if you honestly want these opinions to be expressed, why then, go on and express them! You’re just being authentic and you – no one can deny that. However! Please, please try to listen to the words that are being said! Don’t be so sure of yourself too quick and be patient! For example, if they ask ‘how often is it usually before people change their jobs?’, it does no good to reply somewhat bitingly that ‘how can you be thinking of quitting so early on? It’s only been like a month!’. Seriously, can you just answer the question the person is asking while not overinterpreting it? Some people prefer a gathering of information to integrate into their personal frameworks! Everyone has their own pace/style! See, here, with reference to cognitive functions, the person asking prefers Ti while the person listening prefers Te! One likes to understand while the other likes being objective, impartial and maybe even critical (see previous post)!
Another interesting point that I can raise is approaching people for a purpose. In this world, some people only look for others when they want something from them. This is pretty sad, in my opinion. Some might have it in their worldview as ‘the way of the world’, though. Still, it isn’t like this for everyone! For some people, connecting!!! is the name of the game! I had dinner with someone recently. He recounted how he reconnected with a girl classmate from secondary school. Basically, when she contacted him, saying that she was interested in his work and wished to discuss it, he actually suspected that she wanted to sell him something! Maybe he had some similar experiences before. Anyway, being an open person (which is great!), he went there personally to find out what was going on (if I heard it right) and found out that she just genuinely wanted to connect. This eventually ended up in more people from the secondary school class reconnecting and doing stuff together! This basically happened only because of openness. When people communicate, one side is open about their intentions and the other person is open to finding out about their intentions, they meet… and two-way communication happens! Without openness, human beings can only remain lonely forever… or not. Who knows, you may be the lucky kind who finds someone who’s interested in you.
As I mentioned earlier, some people are just on different channels. For example, I can know that these people are all nice and warm and friendly and treat one another as a big family. However, I just don’t feel like I really fit in with them! It’s as if – we just don’t take an interest in one another. What can be done about this? This, basically, is a sign that you cannot fully BE yourself with this group. However, you can try to adjust your frequency! When any two people properly enter two-way communication, the two of you must take an interest in each other. You don’t have to be interested in every single part of their lives – at the very least, you should care to find out how they are doing (and keep track of it to make it easier for future interactions if you want it long-term). When casually speaking, there has to be the step of finding common ground: say, bring up an interesting subject matter and try to find out their opinion.
But first of all is where it’s decided if the communion will transpire or not – basically, if you’ll connect. Will you give this person a chance? Or won’t you? When will you choose to ignore the person until? When will you suddenly think this: Hmm, I feel like it today. Let’s give this person a chance and see what they have to say?! Now, this isn’t personally targeting anybody in particular. It’s just a common trait of human beings in general. In truth, I can see it everywhere I look! People have this habit of simply forgetting about others and only remembering them at their own convenience. There is some truth in the observation my friend made! Couldn’t you say that the girl ex-classmate was remembering him at her own convenience when she looked him up? That’s technically true, you know. So, we can basically accept this as fact! Just remember – communication doesn’t have to be mercenary even if it’s for convenience (you have to judge the process itself to know that)!
In online communication specifically, words are bare. Sometimes, you try to read between the lines to figure out the intentions lurking behind. Sometimes, these words are roses with thorns – they are trying to fool you with their surfaces. The key, then, should be to read into their depth and examine their passion. You may find that much of what I have said has probably been written somewhere, thought of already by someone. However, is it a soulless work? No! And it’s inevitable that it may coincide! This is because of metaphysics, I mean, the ways of the world. Thinking of each way as a pool, people who have dipped their bodies into each one are bound to discover the very same principles! It’s really like how I Googled existentialism one day so many years ago and found that it already existed.
Now it’s hard to like the implications for regular communication in general because these ‘pools’ tend to stack atop one another. Racist people can find more like-minded racist people! Sexist people can find more like-minded sexist people! There are all those ‘deviant’ pools as well which can possibly exist in this world! When people go on the internet, they are subconsciously really looking for things that fit with their worldviews! It’s basically self-reinforcement! How can we communicate with people when we’re simply on different channels/worldviews?
So now, I’m going to give an answer that sounds really cliched, because that’s just where the bell of truth rang for me when I thought about it. Basically, the answer lies in the word-heart! Sincerity – that is the key. Basically, you sense sincerity in the words of others. Some people, especially those with Te, are just terribly quick at jumping to conclusions and misunderstanding people’s words. However, you can sense no malicious intent from ’em! In a sense, they are just honest to a fault and totally lack tact (not talking about all Te people here!!). You can still tell, though, that they are being sincere. And so it’s fine being their friend! In contrast, people with Ti who understand the system in a meta way can hence ‘play’ the system with less concern for others, more callousness – tis just a quick hypothesis! But theoretically, it’s possible.
Some people have nefarious intentions. To truly understand this, I actually went out in the field once to ‘sort of purposely’ get cheated. Haha. This is the play where people believe that just showing concern for you makes you think that you matter! You can think of them being human-shaped drugs that you take to make you feel better about yourself – until you get heartbroken. If you were taken in, that is – I just went in with an observing mindset. You can’t tell without going through the process, yo! It goes both ways. Sometimes, people have different views from you, but you can tell that they are being sincere. In that case, I believe that it is well possible to agree to disagree and treat each other with respect. I know sometimes, though, we find that people are really not to be treated with respect. In such cases where they see you as a sucker, know that it’s totally fine to not be lenient on them. Vengeance!
But in general, though, really. If you are free enough for it, offer an opportunity such that there is a possibility for communion. If not, do not reject them harshly because that’s just plain assuming what they are and stupid. Hey, you do not even have to meet them physically! You do not even have to video call them! Just exchanging DMs is perfectly fine too, allowing you to test the waters and feel out their depth. Well, it also depends on your preferred mode of communication – while some people prefer online lessons in school, for example, I know a couple of others like me who would talk during physical lessons, but be non-existent in chat channels for online lessons. It’s just a preference!
Yep, maybe this has led to another tip for communication! Maybe you should analyse your communication proficiency in the meta! For instance, I don’t really have a problem talking to strangers in general – what’s hard is being on the same wavelength. Oh, figure out what mediums you’re best at using! Once you have done so, you will be able to determine what level of commitment you would potentially be able to make to that mode as you derive sufficient motivation to do so! Hm, it somehow or other seems to tie in with my previous post on how to get good at stuff and achieve fulfilment in life. Finding the right method applies to communication too!
Hmm, is there anything more I want to say about this? Let me pause for a moment, literally, and think… hmm, probably not. Okay, let me say that the reason there are no pictures for this post is that it’s about communication. So just for no reason other than I feel like it really, I’ve decided to troll and go for text only! Will communication be affected as a result? I don’t know! Somosomo (in the first place), how has communication even been anyway? I have no idea, haha! Sayonara!