Have you heard of hedonism? Basically, it is the theory that we (human beings) seek pleasure and avoid pain. How true do you think this is?
Personally, I am of the view that hedonism is too simplistic and only able to account for a part of the story. What do I mean by this? Let’s look at it this way. First, I think we can basically all agree that animals feel pleasure and pain. In simple terms, pleasure is good and pain is bad. And that’s basically true for humans as well (let’s pretend for now that masochists don’t exist haha).
When we are feeling pretty neutral, eating nice food lifts our mood! When we are injured and our movements impaired, it really sucks and makes us feel bad! Yeah, this is all pretty much self-evident. However, let’s not forget that human beings are more complex than just any being of flesh and blood. A philosopher might say that we have the ‘gift of rationality’…
But hey, let’s not overhype rationality because we humans are very much emotional beings. We hold the capacity for empathy and feel righteous indignation at injustice. Rationality merely works together hand in hand with our values as we seek to achieve our goals, which we are emotionally invested in…
So let’s think of rationality as a feature of human beings rather than the jewel in our treasure chest. Hmm, I for one wouldn’t want to talk to a cold, unfeeling robot (no offence to cold, unfeeling robots!). In actuality, the essential thing which separates us human beings from animals – wait for it – really, it’s none other than meta.
No, really – it’s none other than meta. See, animals and all living beings who roam the earth do so without being able to question what it is that they are doing, why it is that they are doing so. The function is simply embedded in their bloodlines. Well, even if they are able to question, we can’t see them doing anything differently…
Meanwhile, we human beings have this capacity known as existential self-awareness. We ask ‘why do we exist?’ We create new things from imagination, treading out paths of our own. This very ability to stare at life and have an opinion about it puts us above creatures that can only follow fixed formulae.
Now, we human beings are able to extend our minds beyond our vessels, beyond the flesh. Wait, what do I mean by this exactly? So, consider this. How do animals ‘think’ about the past and the future? Now, I can’t say this for sure because I can’t communicate with them, but it seems probable that their minds can only relate to whatever is directly available to their senses at any moment.
Nope, I’m not saying that animals are unable to think about the past and the present. When a mother animal grieves for her dead cub, she surely grasps somewhere in her mind that it died at some point in the past. When animals see their fellow lifestock being culled, they are surely aware that at some point in the future they will meet the same fate…
The crux is that this abstract thinking they do is directly related to what is happening in front of them. Complex links and insights do not readily spring to mind. Meanwhile, human beings can imagine dystopian futures and doomsday scenarios…
The pleasure-pain spectrum that hedonism is all about relates only to the fleshly vessel. Meanwhile, human beings have the capacity to tread out paths of our own, making important life choices and trying to fulfil our aspirations (like how I’m writing stuff here right now lol).
Disclaimer: In no way am I trying to say that some human beings are no better than animals.
Therefore, I believe that there is another spectrum for human beings beyond hedonism, and this I term the hope-regret spectrum.
Human beings instinctively hope for a better future. We hope that when tomorrow comes, it will be better than today. When times are tough, we may feel down, but we tell ourselves that we must hold on till we see the light at the end of the tunnel.
A life without anything to hope for is dull and colourless. Indeed, we are often met with disappointment. We realise, rather cynically, that the only way to not be disappointed is not to hope for anything in the first place. But hey – can we seriously resign ourselves to that lame fate? I think not. We wish to attain happiness and we know that it’s waiting for us somewhere and we deserve it and it’s only a matter of time before it comes (that’s hope speaking here).
There is a certain tragic beauty in the strength of hope in the face of adversity and despair. We cannot give up without a struggle! We cannot go down without a fight! In the face of an invasion by the demon lord army in overwhelming numbers, will we all just throw down our weapons and say dude can you make it painless pls? It kinda makes me feel turned off when people are so privileged as to be willing to roll over and die when things become inconvenient for them…
Embrace hope.
Regret is just as essential a part of being human. We are limited, fallible beings. We cannot consider all the sides of a situation, take every single thing into account. It’s also not like a win-win situation is always possible. Sometimes, it’s just you win some, you lose some.
I think we can all agree that nobody is perfect? Well then, everyone has things in their life that… they wish could have gone better. Were you to suddenly wake up in the body of your younger self (like in a web novel I translated: Still, Wait for Me) one day, you would surely do things differently and secure a much more ideal future for yourself. But seriously, that’s impossible, isn’t it? Well, I certainly won’t be banking my hopes on waking up in an isekai tomorrow!!!
What am I trying to say then? Well, even if you would have done things differently with your present foreknowledge, that does not automatically translate to regret. After all, with how lacking you were back then, you cannot expect yourself to have had the power to act differently. Thus, there is no point thinking about could-have-beens. What you should be focusing on is the present – the choices you are making right now. Act in a way such that you will not regret it in the future – that is the key. I find this Chinese saying very meaningful – 台上十分钟，台下十年功。Ten minutes on the stage, ten years of practice backstage. Basically, I firmly believe that all of my accumulated experiences up to this day, which have helped me to grow as a person, are leading me towards a happy future which I will really love. All the dissatisfying bits right now are just a transition. So in fact, regret does not mean mooning over has-beens, but choosing to influence what you can influence – your present actions.
Avoid regret.
And that is all! Thanks for reading about the hope-regret spectrum, which I actually conceived of several years ago. I’m finally sharing it proper today, and I hope it can be of use to people. Done for today.
And oh if you haven’t seen it, I’m writing for fun and this is what I’m about!