Back in my post on achieving fulfilment, I briefly mentioned how many people burn time away, simply going through the motions rather than having anything exciting going on in their lives. I was going to post about something more abstract today, really, but I happened to gain added insight into this topic. Thus, this is what today’s post will be about. Without further ado, let’s begin.
Say you try something new and find that you are not very good at it. You still engage in this activity, however. Would you like to be better at it? Deep down in your heart, if anyone asks you, the answer would surely be a resounding yes. Well of course it would be good if I were better at it! The problem is that I do it, and I do it, and it’s plain to all that I just suck at it. Huh, why don’t I get better at it then? Well, even if I put in the effort, will I really get better at it? Can you say for sure that it won’t just be wasted effort? And why do I have to get better at it anyway? It’s not like my life will magically get so much better!
Do thoughts like this feel familiar? It definitely applies for me, at least. In my previous post, I used the example of an online game. Previously, I played it half-heartedly, letting myself be vulnerable, fully dependent on the whims of lady luck. However, I eventually started improving after I began thinking about what I was doing. Right now, I’m on a 5 game win streak or something.
Why do people not get good at stuff? It’s obvious, really.
If you don’t put in effort into something, you will never get better at it. That’s like a truism, really! And here you cry indignantly: Hey! How can you say I’m not putting in effort in it? I’m engaged in this activity here! Even though it feels futile, I’m at least trying, aren’t I?! Oi!!! You blind?
My answer is: that’s just not how it works. Just attendance alone isn’t enough. Just by showing up and engaging in an activity, it doesn’t mean that you will magically get better at it. And it isn’t because you’re just too lacking in talent!
I have another case study to illustrate my point. I’ve always sucked at basketball. To be honest, I’d rather kick a ball than throw it – it feels more fun. However, I thought that I should at least improve from that sub 10% accuracy rate. Thus, when my cousin was staying at my house for CNY or something, I learnt a basic throwing method from him (he plays everyday or something). After that, basketball took a back seat in my mind again until recently, because I wanted to do something together with friends that isn’t just eating or burning time. And so it was that three sessions of basketball elapsed, the third of which was yesterday (the first two were right before this blog).
This is what I observed. I tried putting in effort during the first session, but it wasn’t very effective. Some balls did go in, but I ultimately attributed them to luck. My success rate overall was abysmal, I would say. On top of my basic throwing method, I basically tried a hundred different ways to apply strength or whatever – I feel it was more like me trying to entertain myself with inane thoughts.
The second session with someone else was even more unproductive. While in the first session I was only ‘talking rubbish’ and entertaining myself, in the second session I was actually ‘throwing rubbish’. I gave up actually trying at some point in time and each throw was entirely without thought and methodology. The accuracy rate honestly felt pretty much like 1%.
Yesterday, however, things changed. I started thinking for all my shots. Basically, I took note of but two attributes alone – one, engagement and stability of arm; two, shooting direction. Apparently, there is this thing called ABC where you shoot in sequence (I never knew what it was called before, bite me!). So we did that, and I took every single shot seriously at the cost of ‘a few’ more seconds.
I surprised myself and probably others too by actually being able to get the ball in once every few shots. If it were usually, I could throw ten shots and the ball still wouldn’t go in. What made that session different? The answer is simple. I was thinking, not letting my mind run amok.
I gave myself a three-step process: One, steady that arm, make sure no muscle is slacking and will give way with a simple push (like when someone is in the horse stance and you kick their leg). Two, centre the shot. Three, throw! And ultimately, what happened is that I finished just a single shot after the ‘pro guy’ which is really crazy.
Towards the end of the session, I started trying three-pointer shots. Me and the other guy are total noobs at basketball and we were saying that we simply don’t have the strength to throw it that distance! After loads of failed attempts, I decided to just throw with my left hand from near range. I mean, when playing badminton and tennis, I will sometimes switch hands to return the ball…
This eventually made me think about which leg should be in front and which leg behind when which leg is throwing. After thinking about it, I concluded that it should be the opposite leg. Then, I casually returned to the three pointer line without really having any expectations of anything.
So, I rolled my shoulders a few times to make them flexible and relaxed. Then, I got into a stance, left leg in front, and distributed evenly my weight in a way that felt right. I aimed (at this point step one was probably no longer necessary), imagined my elbow as a catapult possessing sufficient force to fling the ball over to the distant hoop, and released. The ball flew right to the top of the hoop… it rolled a full round around the rim… and then… it went in. Plop! Just like that.
Honestly speaking, I wasn’t really thinking about the ball going in or anything. In fact, my mind was just fully concentrated on the process – there’s no way I could have spared any energy to fantasise about such stuff and still have had the focus to throw the ball perfectly. Making the shot count was my aim – that it went in was merely icing on the cake and something that made me feel like a protagonist in a drama (making every shot count basically = not ‘throwing rubbish’).
This is how you get better at stuff. Believe that you can get better at something. Want to get better at something. Think about how you can get better at the something. Immerse yourself in the process without caring about how terrible you are at it. See for yourself manifestations of this process in the real world, and enjoy the fruits of your labour.
Truthfully speaking, I have been proud (in a sense) of being terrible at stuff (like basketball), and I believe it’s not just me who feels that way (about stuff in general). This pride is a pitiful thing, a headstone atop a grave of suppressed despair and ignored emotions. There are also past incidences when I kinda knew I was so terrible at something but simply refused to register it as truth, effectively ignoring reality. Now that I’m aware of these sucky unconscious reality-avoiding tendencies, they’d best watch out! I ain’t doing that no more.
I think that people should really consider getting better at stuff to gain fulfilment in life… I heard from someone that people spend the whole week working and during the weekends they are so tired that they just want to rest. Where got time for hobbies? A couple of years ago, maybe, they’d still happily be trying out their passions. But now, they’ve grown up and moved on, to face the stark reality of society…
Well, I think this sort of growing up is just stupid if it means giving in to despair and resigning oneself to a life of gloom and mehness. The person with a hobby finds that time flies while they’re immersed in it; the person who’s tired and resting is just feeling sorry for themselves and has nothing to look forward to. What differs here is this ultimate choice – the choice between cynicism/age and passion/youth. Some people are so unfortunate that they don’t have this choice, yes. Still, let’s not talk about them. What about you? Are you really fine with living on society’s terms as people who just work and do nothing besides passively consume? Are you so sure that there’s no room within the (arguably a necessary evil) system for you to maneuver?
Well, there are some things in life that everyone must consider for themselves. Back to getting better at stuff. Another observation! I realised that if you have just done something super well, there’s a tendency for you to just stop doing it so that the ‘good memories will not be spoilt’. An example is a game I had maybe 2 days ago when I was so in the zone that I was consecutively one-hit KOing people. After the game, I stopped for a bit because – who knows when I’ll ever be able to get into the zone like that again? Same applies for the three-pointer, I guess.
At this point, maybe you can tell yourself this – hey, it wasn’t just luck, okay. It wasn’t just a fluke! I do have some skill. And if I did it once before, I can do that again! Maybe it won’t come the next time or the next next, but it’ll come for sure eventually. Why? Because I have the skill to do it! How do I know that? Why, just look at the ‘miracles’ that I have already wrought (after winning Round 1 with four kills when I was 1v3 at some point, I typed that I was lucky…to which someone typed back: I don’t think so)!
And that’s basically it for how to get better at stuff! Thanks for reading! I wonder if it became a long post again. I seriously don’t know, because as I said before, I’m not the one who decides that. In actuality, I just try not to leave anything out that has already come to my attention. Oh and by the way, I made 2 more websites! As in the same domain but with a /directory. Why are they not on the same website? Well, I figured that people may get irritated and be all ‘Excuse me, this is not what I signed up for!’. In other words, if I theoretically had people following this main blog on wordpress, posting any side thing would also give notifications for it! That’s assuming, of course, the existence of followers lol!!! But, anyway:
What I did was basically just write a bit on a static main page before writing something like an intro post, similar to what I did for lil’ Meta over here. Meaning no specific material = yet. Still, please take a look if you have the time! Who knows, it may be fun. Actual posts will surely be coming soon because I already have stuff I’d like to contribute and I’ll figure out a way to add them two to the homepage up top too (yes, I’m doing this because I want to; I’ll try to make sure not to burn myself out)! Done! Yay. Bye!